67 Days-Yet Another Potentially Deadly Wedding Escapade

Don’t expect any cute fuzzies today. 

If you have been reading along, Jeremy and I have already had a pretty crazy encounter with a boiling hot metal ring and a mall fire. Today I faced another potentially deadly nemesis and didn’t recognize the full magnitude of my danger until the deed was one.

This morning after I was licking every single envelope seal for our wedding invitations I realized… Maybe that was a bad idea.

I have three nephews who are, well, boys. They love bugs, dirt, football, and put absolutely everything in their mouths as children.  I cannot tell you how many times I’ve said:

 “Don’t put that in your mouth”

“Spit that out”

“Do you have any idea how dirty that is?”

“Do not eat that off the floor!”

“The five second rule is not a real rule!”

All of the reprimands came rushing back as I licked envelope, after envelope, after envelope.  I was on a roll and was, quite honestly, too lazy to go get a damp sponge and a bit worried that I would drown the invitations we’d worked so hard on. While I’m sure soggy invitations would be a topic of conversation, it’s not the kind of topic I would aspire to be the central figure of.  As I licked, thoughts trickled in.

“What exactly does this adhesive consist of?”

“How many creatures have walked across this and left their nastiness behind?”

Still I licked.            

“How harmful is this in mass quantities?”

“Should I take antibiotics or something just in case?”

By the time I finished I was so pleased that I ignored the consequences.  Out of curiosity and, admittedly, a bit of fear, I looked up possible negative side effects… Oye

Anthrax

40 Calories Gained (which is not okay because I didn’t do P90X this morning! 🙂 )

Paper Cuts

“Roach Jelly”

Malpractice where mop water was used to dilute adhesive

Cockroach eggs in small cuts in my tongue

To rub it in, e-how provided me with this lovely visual:

Gag.

While some of these side effects are ridiculous, others are too realistic to completely ignore, like anthrax.  Just kidding! I’m more worried about baby roaches inside of me. I suppose I should have listened to my own advice on this one.  Lord Jesus, please don’t let me get sick!

Advice: If you don’t have 72 hours to completely redo your invitations, buy envelope seals or envelope moisteners. While I’m sure I don’t have anthrax, this morning’s activities were probably not my brightest.

On the Bright Side: The invitations are lovely and in the mail!!!!!!!  Because of the small venue size, were only able to invite family and a few close friends, but we’re super excited for each of those people to attend! Plus,  it’s finally close!!!! YAAAYYYY!

P.S. Ironically enough, my blog was rather nasty today while Jeremy’s was quite sweet (in his witty/comical way).

95 Days-Planning a Wedding is a Dangerous Ordeal!

As you may have read in the last blog, Jeremy and I may not have the most meticulous wedding planning agenda.  Yesterday we decided it would be a wonderful idea to look at tuxes and wedding bands.  The last thing we expected was to be injured or caught in a mall fire.

We’ve known what colors we wanted for the men’s tuxes for awhile but haven’t determined where to rent them.  We went to Tuxedo Junction, which I would not recommend! No one ever came to help us, the place was dirty, and they have a small variety of colors in super odd patterns.  

Next stop, Zales.

I’m slightly ashamed to do this, but a theknot.com community member deserves kudos.  Now a crazy number of people have replied to my question and one gave me a morsel of fantastic advice:  Zales makes a thin white gold band to match the ring exactly. It is inexpensive, around $150.

After our anticlimactic trip to Tuxedo Junction, the exuberance of the Zales Professional Jewelry Consultant was suffocating. (Over the phone she corrected someone to let them know Zales didn’t have sales people it had Professional Jewelry Consultants. )

But, THEY HAD THE RING!!! It’s simple, low priced, and I love it!

I adore my engagement ring and don’t want anything to take away from it.  So, this plain band is PERFECT! 

The Professional Jewelry Consultant made very clear that she wanted to make my engagement ring as sparkly as possible to “keep the haters hating”.  It seems that she’s an overexuberant cleaner too. The last step of the “sparkling” process is to steam the ring.  Well, steam from boiling water+metal=PAIN.  My ring was SO hot that it burned my finger! GAH! 

Amazingly, being burned on my finger was the least dramatic moment of the evening. Next stop, Fossil.

They recognized us when we walk in the door; in fact, the sales associate said “It’s great to see you guys again!  Last time you were here I remember you were getting your rings sized.” Wow.

As a side note, if someone would like to offer us a gillion dollar gift card to Fossil, we would be much obliged. 🙂

From Fossil, we grabbed a bite (or several) to eat and then it happened… Strobe lights started flashing all over the mall, fire alarms were blaring, and MASS CHAOS INSUED!

Or not… Truly everyone stayed rather still, looking around, waiting for a loudspeaker, and wondering if this was real.  After responding similarly, Jeremy and I slowly began walking out of the mall.  We smelled smoke, our pace quickened; we saw smoke and started walk/jogging, ducked under the Barnes and Noble gate as it was closing down on us, and raced to the car, periodcially choking from the smoke.

Moral of the story: Wedding planning is dangerous!!