Tag Archives: cockroach eggs

67 Days-Yet Another Potentially Deadly Wedding Escapade

5 Apr

Don’t expect any cute fuzzies today. 

If you have been reading along, Jeremy and I have already had a pretty crazy encounter with a boiling hot metal ring and a mall fire. Today I faced another potentially deadly nemesis and didn’t recognize the full magnitude of my danger until the deed was one.

This morning after I was licking every single envelope seal for our wedding invitations I realized… Maybe that was a bad idea.

I have three nephews who are, well, boys. They love bugs, dirt, football, and put absolutely everything in their mouths as children.  I cannot tell you how many times I’ve said:

 “Don’t put that in your mouth”

“Spit that out”

“Do you have any idea how dirty that is?”

“Do not eat that off the floor!”

“The five second rule is not a real rule!”

All of the reprimands came rushing back as I licked envelope, after envelope, after envelope.  I was on a roll and was, quite honestly, too lazy to go get a damp sponge and a bit worried that I would drown the invitations we’d worked so hard on. While I’m sure soggy invitations would be a topic of conversation, it’s not the kind of topic I would aspire to be the central figure of.  As I licked, thoughts trickled in.

“What exactly does this adhesive consist of?”

“How many creatures have walked across this and left their nastiness behind?”

Still I licked.            

“How harmful is this in mass quantities?”

“Should I take antibiotics or something just in case?”

By the time I finished I was so pleased that I ignored the consequences.  Out of curiosity and, admittedly, a bit of fear, I looked up possible negative side effects… Oye

Anthrax

40 Calories Gained (which is not okay because I didn’t do P90X this morning! 🙂 )

Paper Cuts

“Roach Jelly”

Malpractice where mop water was used to dilute adhesive

Cockroach eggs in small cuts in my tongue

To rub it in, e-how provided me with this lovely visual:

Gag.

While some of these side effects are ridiculous, others are too realistic to completely ignore, like anthrax.  Just kidding! I’m more worried about baby roaches inside of me. I suppose I should have listened to my own advice on this one.  Lord Jesus, please don’t let me get sick!

Advice: If you don’t have 72 hours to completely redo your invitations, buy envelope seals or envelope moisteners. While I’m sure I don’t have anthrax, this morning’s activities were probably not my brightest.

On the Bright Side: The invitations are lovely and in the mail!!!!!!!  Because of the small venue size, were only able to invite family and a few close friends, but we’re super excited for each of those people to attend! Plus,  it’s finally close!!!! YAAAYYYY!

P.S. Ironically enough, my blog was rather nasty today while Jeremy’s was quite sweet (in his witty/comical way).